The issue of Divorce and its effect on my children, tips are welcome

by Imrana
(Lahore, Punjab, Pakistan)

I have a very strange story to tell. I belong from an Islamic society.

My husband uttered divorce 6 times on a very pity issue. He got jealous of my conversations with the girl working in our house so he uttered divorce.

I left his home and came to my parents' home with my children. He took my son and then I had to get him through the court. Finally, I got him back and my world seemed complete now.

Unfortunately things were not in my favour since the beginning. My entire family, my parents and my siblings, gave me tough time.

One of my university friend proposed me. I told my so called husband that a friend of mine has proposed me. After staying in my mother's home for 4 months, my children's father came and took us back home.

When I was there with him, his sister was there with her family. She gave me tough time and put blames on me of theft. She even hit me and my husband didn't help me in any case.

He simply bought my ticket and send me back to my mother's place in the other city. He took away my first two children and send me with the youngest.

After that the same friend of mine helped me out and supported me when I came back to the same city where my husband was. He got engaged to me. My mother didn't like this boy and came to collect me. Then I came back to my mother's house again with my youngest daughter. My children's father put blames on my character that I was involved with my friend. He threatened me that he will not give me my children.

Thus,after 3 months I fought a case for my remaining children and got their legal custody. Now, I am here with them. I work and study as well. I manage all things together. But I find it difficult to cope with the mood swings of my first two children.

They are completely different individuals now. They are too sensitive and aggressive. My eldest is moody but can control her emotions in a better way at times. However, my son was very close to his father. He gets alone when there are guests around. I tell him to talk to his father but he avoids. He simply says that he wants me to be with his father.

I am really worried about him. Their father can never be in friendly terms with me. How can I help him? Which way should I take?

Tips please.

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Oct 09, 2015
The issue of Divorce.
by: David Sanchez

Feeling sorry for you dear! Your story is just pathetic. How can a man be so insensitive, I just can't believe? After all you're his wife and the mother of his children. Well Imrana, up-to my concern divorce is not the solution; you need to think about your children and for their sake you guys need to continue the relationship. You should talk to a Divorce Coach, who can suggest you regarding what you need to do. Make a visit first and don't let your family to spoil. God bless you.

Jun 12, 2015
Seek Counseling
by: Anonymous

Seek counseling for you and your children as soon as possible. The children suffer a lot of different negative emotions after a divorce because they do not understand what is going on and most of the time blame themselves for their parents' divorce. Obviously you and your ex-husband do not understand your own situation either or would have handled things a lot different but the two of you must agree to do what is best for the children all the time no matter what. He (the ex-husband) should go to counseling as well.

Jan 07, 2015
by: Emmily

Dear Imrana,

From your story I understand that you are a courageous and persistent person.

You have taken the situation into your own hands as much as possible. It must be tough to work, study, do the housekeeping and raise your children.

As I do not know your culture nor you specific situation, I cannot give you a lot of tips as you asked for.

Maybe it helps if you specify the ages of your children. There might come a visitor on this site that can give you some valuable tips.

You might discuss the situation with their school teacher or with a person of trust. Find out what your children really want and help them achieving that.

Best regards, Emmily

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