"The effects of my parents divorce on me and my siblings" -Ashley

by Ashley W.
(Texas)

Growing up my childhood was amazing. Me and my 2 siblings were close. I have a sister who is a year younger and a brother who is a year older.

I was really close to my dad and my siblings were close to my mom.

We grew up poor. My mom stayed home and took care of us and the house while my dad worked most of the time.

My dad would either go fix someones car or helped roof a house for extra money and after he got off work from his normal job he was always out in the garage working on his cars and I always hung out with him and loved helping him.

When I was 14, my parents decided to move to a small town that was 30 minutes away. I wasn't happy about it at first because I didn't want to change schools.

Well, not even 8 months later, a traumatic nightmare began for me. My dad went to work and we were supposed to be getting ready for school. After my dad left, all of a sudden my grandma who lives in oklahoma showed up.

I knew something wasn't right and my mom was putting clothes into trash bags and told us to grab our clothes out of our closet and get in the car.

So I went to my room and locked the door and started to panic. I had no clue what was going on. My mom, grandma and my brother were trying to get me to come out of my room and I didn't want to.

Finally, I decided to open the door and they told me we were going to my aunt's house. I told them I didnt want to and I wanted to go to school. And they were trying to force me out of my room and my brother dragged me out of the house and we were fighting while I was being dragged out.

So here we are in the car driving and once we get back to our old town where my aunt lived and realized they weren't actually taking us to her house and they lied and said we were going to tulsa oklahoma to my grandma's.

I started freaking out. I started screaming and crying. I tried opening the door and throwing my self out while the car was going down the highway. I cried that whole entire trip.

We didn't see or hear from my dad for almost a year. I was extremely hurt and always wondered why. Well, one day we all got our first cell phones (nokia) and we went to school and the moment I stepped off the bus right before I walked in to the school I called my dad.

My dads had the same number since he got a phone and it's never changed. When my dad answered I started crying and could barely speak.

Finally I got myself together and my dad was also crying. It was the first time we spoke in a long time. Come to find out he didn't know exactly where we went but he knew my mom and grandma had us.

My mom was sick from cancer and couldn't work to help take care of us so my dad got custody of us. And by the way my mom isn't a bad person and neither is my dad. They are very loving, caring, and sweet.

My parents divorce was so traumatizing on me that it has effected my emotions, my self esteem. I became an angry, verbally aggressive and physically abusive person.

In school and around my friends in high school my behavior came off and angry aggressive and most of the time I was a picked on people. I thought it was in a joking way but now I realize that to them it was hurtful and rude.

I became brutally honest and blunt when I expressed my opinions and feelings and sometimes people say that I'm a bitch because of it.

I'm the only sibling who stayed in contact with my mom. I tried over the past years to reunite my siblings with my mom but they don't want to give her a chance.

My mom became very depressed and has anxiety and major health problems and she has deteriorated to where it very heartbreaking. My siblings never got into any trouble with the law and got married and both have 2 kids.

I, on the other hand, was in and out of jail from 19-25. I became an alcoholic and just didn't care about anything.

I'm 29 now and I have finally started trying to get my life together but I don't want to marry or have kids, and I'm still an angry person and I'm the "black sheep".
-TheEnd. 💔

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May 03, 2018
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Super cool
by: Emmily

Hi Ashley,

It is super cool of you to share your story of the divorce of your parents.

You tell us a sad story of how the divorce has affected your life in a negative way. It must have a very difficult moment, hours, days, weeks, ... for when when your mother started to collect her clothes and you realized what was going on.

I am happy for you that you're moving forward, away from the negativity of the previous years. Stay focused and persist. Life is not always easy.

Here is a nice article on how to deal with anger: http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/15-simple-ways-to-overcome-anger/

Maybe there are some useful tips for you in this article.

And thank you for sharing your story. Other children of divorce reading your story will learn from your story. They will at least understand that they are not alone and they can draw strength from it.

I wish you a happy future. You even might walk into somebody you want to share your life with.

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