The teens and divorce tips in this article is an extension of the article on Teens and divorce. With these tips, teens can smooth the difficulties they face because of the divorce of their parents. There are even some unexpected positive side effects. Here are the tips:
You may want both parents to come to special events, like games, meets, plays, or recitals. However realise that sometimes a parent may find it awkward to attend if the other parent is present. Help your parents to figure out a way to make this work, especially because you may need to feel the support and presence of both parents. Try to come up with an idea for a compromise or solution to this problem and suggest it to both parents.
Lots of teens whose parents divorce worry that their own plans for the future could be affected. Some are concerned that the costs of divorce might mean there will be less money for college or other things. Do not wait to long and pick a good time to tell your parents about your concerns.
It's good to bring them into the open and not keep them to yourself and let worries or resentment build. Don't worry about putting added stress on your parents. There are solutions for most problems and there are counselors who can help both teens and parents.
The next of the teens and divorce tips is that you have to figure out how you deal with stress. Do you get angry? Do you take it out on siblings, friends, or yourself? Or are you someone who is a pleaser who puts others first?
Maybe you tend to avoid conflict altogether and just hope that problems will magically disappear. A divorce can put people through rough times, but can also help to discover strengths, and put in place some new coping skills. Sometimes staying quiet until the anger has subsided and then discussing the issue that frustrates you calmly with your mom or dad can help.
Tell them you have a right to love both your parents, no matter what they are doing to each other. If you need help figuring out your strengths or how to cope ask for it! And if you find it hard to confront your parents, try writing them a letter. Figure out what works for you.
Sometimes during a divorce, parents may be so caught up in their own changes it can feel like your own life is on hold. In addition to staying focused on your own plans and dreams, make sure you participate in as many of your normal activities as possible.
When things are changing at home, it can really help to keep some things, such as school activities and friends, the same. If things get too hard at home, see if you can stay with a friend or relative until things calm down. Take care of yourself by eating right and getting regular exercise — two great stress busters!
Talk about your feelings and reactions to the divorce with someone you trust. If you're feeling down or upset, let your friends and family members support you. These feelings usually pass. If they don't, and if you're feeling depressed or stressed out, or if it's hard to concentrate on your normal activities, let a counselor or therapist help you.
Your parents, school counselor, or a doctor or other health professional can help you find one. Many communities and schools have support groups for kids and teens with Teens and Divorce Tips not covered here. It can really help to talk with other people your age who are going through similar experiences.
Return to Divorce and Children