I didn’t know how to be a mother when my son was first born. And that was ok, because no one just ‘knows’ how to be a parent … we are all parents-in-progress. I didn’t expect perfection from myself, and nor did society around me. It was ok to just do my best, to give myself space and time, and permission, to make mistakes, to learn, to grow…to be always in the process of becoming a better parent.
I didn’t know how to be a mother when my son and I first became separated. And that should have been ok, because no one knows how to parent anyway, let alone parent from a distance. Yet, I expected perfection from myself, and so did society around me. It wasn’t ok to just do my best. The time I’ve had with my son has been so limited that I haven’t ever wanted to acknowledge the fact that I have, once again, had to give myself space and, however limited in supply it may be, time, to make mistakes, to learn and to grow.
I’ve been so painfully aware of not meeting society’s expectation of what a parent is supposed to be, that I have often neglected to embrace the possibilities that exist for me as a distance parent.
This blog is about re-learning and re-becoming. It’s about once again recognising myself as a mother. It’s about giving myself space and permission to to make mistakes, to learn, and to grow into this different kind of mothering. Because now that I realise I don't have to be perfect, I can be good.