Polygamous father and remaried mother

by Cynthia
(Canada)

I wanted to share my story in hopes that I can get comments to help me reflect and understand my life

My parents divorced when I was a child, because my father already had three wives. I know some may think it was her fault for getting involved with a married man, but I don't know dont know how to judge that situation to me they are just my parents who in the end failed to love me.

I grew up with my mother who remaries when I was 6. when she started her new family she neglected me and my older sister, until she eventfully sent us to my father when I was 10, who already had his family with three wives in it.

We had to live with one of his wives who used to call us names and our mother even worse names, like the child of a whore etc. and the worst part was my father seemed to encourage this behavior as he would bad mouth our mother too.

We where starved, and generally treated like rejects and some of the step brothers would sexually abuse us. Until we where sent to boarding school. At this point school was my heaven.

I continued to do well in school, I graduated and now I have a nice job as well as my older sister. But some of the childhood trauma haunts me in a way that makes me socially awkward and I am unable to date or bond or trust people around.

If my parents did not love me, who in the world is going to love me? My older sister and I are not close anymore we care about each other but we never had a proper family to help us bond.

I just feel alone in the world.