Men and Divorce

This article covers the following Men and Divorce subjects:

The very first things to do -tips

Keep your private stuff out of her hands

  • Get an address out of reach of your (ex) wife: for all legal and financial matters
  • Ensure she cannot access your email
  • Keep hard copies of all documents and store them in a safe place. Even documents that do not seem so important.

Protect your finances

  • Cancel joint credit cards immediately
  • Cancel joint bank accounts immediately
  • Open new bank accounts and get credit cards for yourself only
  • Re-route any deposits to your own bank account
  • Move exactly 50% or a little less of all the money you have in joint accounts to your own bank account. It is very hard to get it back after your wife has taken all the money.

If you want to divorce without losing your children, the eBook Men’s Divorce Tactics puts you on the right track.

Tips to keep your divorce costs low

The costs of a divorce for men and divorce in the the U.S. averages $ 25.000. Most of it goes into the pockets of the divorce attorney.

Some tips to keep the costs low:

1. Ensure good communication with your wife

Take time to talk with your wife about the process of divorce. Explain all the possibilities there are and compare the costs involved. If you keep communicating, your wife may be more open for your suggestions.

2. Divorce attorney

If you know your wife is going to try to get the maximum out of it in an ugly way, you should consider a divorce attorney. This way you avoid the need to deal with you ex wife directly

To keep costs low, do as much as possible yourself. Be explicit on keeping costs low in the initial meeting. A good attorney will help you on this.

3. Mediation

Mediation costs about one third of an attorney. The costs are shared with your ex partner. Mediation works for the benefit of all parties involved.

4. Unbundling your marriage

With unbundling you and your partner stay in control. You and your partner must be capable of making decision without the help of a third party. You will do all the necessary paperwork.

5. Hire a paralegal

A paralegal charges much less than an attorney for doing the legal paperwork. You can do this if you know that you and your wife are willing to come to an agreement.

6. File for divorce yourself

You do not need an attorney to fill in the forms and file for divorce. Go to the county clerk's office and ask how to do it. Only it you have a lot of posessions, it is better to hire professional assistance.

See our article about Divorce Forms for more information on filing for divorce yourself.

US Divorce Papers offers versions for Divorce with Children and divorce without children. Their proven divorce forms can be found on the web site of

7. Visit websites about divorce

All of them provide free (general) information and some of them ask a fee. There are also services on the web where you can fill in all the necessary divorce papers on line. The services guide you through the process.

Visit the web sites about women divore. They prepare you with the issues and tricks your wife will bring up during the divorce process/

8. Join a divorce support group

Especially if you face a difficult divorce. There are many groups for men and divorce. These groups help you during the process of the divorce and after the divorce.

Mistakes made often with Men and Divorce

In men and divorce, the following mistakes are made often. Learn from the mistakes from others:

  • Not being informed about divorce - If you do not know your rights, you do cannot defend them. Read about the state or country laws. Search for tips on web sites, blogs and on forums.
  • Trusting your divorce attorney - Find a really good divorce attorney. Some do not defend your interests. If you have doubts, you should consider changing. Better sooner than later.
  • Not considering alternatives for hiring a divorce attorney - Mediation, paralegals, filing yourself.
  • Not communicating with your partner - Over time, it becomes more and more difficult to understand each other. You need to keep communicating to reach a mutual agreement.
  • Leaving your home - This weakens your legal position. You left, so you do not need the home. You abandoned your children, so it becomes less apparent you will be granted the child custody.
  • Blaming yourself only - Usually both partners have some blame. Blaming does not help you. You risk ending up carrying the highest emotional and financial costs while loosing most of your dearest rights, like the right to see your children.
  • Blaming your partner - Blaming never helps. It will backfire sooner or later.
  • Focusing on alimony only - Your wife will need to take care of herself at a certain stage. The court will expect that from her too. Do not assume that you will have to pay for her for the rest of your life because she has never worked.

Men and divorce: child custody

Child custody is the most important issue in a divorce with children.

Child custody in a divorce must be resolved by law.

Child custody laws differ from state to state and from country to country. Child custody arrangements have always to be approved by the court.

Child custody enforcement is taken very seriously in many countries.

Apparently in 70% of the divorces taht involve children the mother gets the full custody. Men and divorce is not a favorable situation.

Normally, both parents taking 50% of the child custody each, is fair. Only if the children are in danger when they live with their mother, go for the 100%.

Physical custody is about where the children will be living.

Legal custody is about who will make the important decisions for the children: school, health and overall well being.

Getting child custody.

In the benefit of the children, you should work out a parenting plan with your ex wife. You can involve the children, depending on their age.

If you cannot work out the parenting plan together, hire an experienced mediator.

Present the plan to the court.

If you do not come to an agreement, the judge will decide and it is out of your hands. For men and divorce, the judge tends to favor the mother. Try to avoid this.

Visitation rights.

If one of the parents has no child custody rights, he or she can still have visitation rights. So the children still have the possibility to see the other parent, although they are not living with him or her.

If one of the parents do not stick to the custody plan, the other can enforce by going to the court.

Are you a Child Friendly Divorced Parent? Do the
Self Assessment

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