I want to commit suicide

My parents divorced when I was 6 years old and my sister 4 years old. We lived with mom in my grandparents house for almost 1 year. We had money,society..... Problems.

Right now I'm 16 years old, 10 years passed and I still hurt, my dad has a new family in another city I see him once in 6 months, my mom is studying and working all time..... My friends don't care for me and I try very hard to keep up with school.

I'm depressed I'm sad I'm lonely I'm just a victim of life, my parents weren't in love when they got married! They married because of revenge.

Comments for I want to commit suicide

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Jan 29, 2018
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Life is full of surprises, there is one nice waiting for you too! NEW
by: Marketa, Czech Republic

My Name is Marketa, I come from the Czech Republic, Prague, where I live and where I try to help to improve children's situation during divorce and after it. I created a website for children in Czech in order to offer information, contacts of children crisis centers, to advise them how they could easily communicate with their parents and hints how to do it etc. www.pravonarodice.cz - it is in Czech but you might like the drawings, they are made by Nina, who comes from France and who experienced the divorce of her parents. Tereza (from Czech Republic), who helped me with some texts for the website also experienced the divorce of her parents. She is now offering group therapy sessions for children "in divorce". Both had hard childhood, were hurt by their parents divorce, both decided to use their bad experience to help others. It might be your way as well. One day you may do something like Nina or Tereza, you may decide to make the most of the bad experience and try to avoid divorce for yourself, when adult, and even help others to come through this difficult period of life. Be brave and trust in you, so as I do. I wish you strength and send my best wishes from Prague. Maybe you can plan to come one day to this beautiful town in the heart of Europe. Marketa

Jan 28, 2018
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Your decisions do not have to be your parents
by: Anonymous

Deep in my heart, I understand your pain. I can only tell you this: you have choices (even when it seems like you don't) and your path does not need to be your parents path. The truth is, they were struggling to make the right decisions, and some they got right (they had you!!) and some maybe they didn't.

But you are your own person. And inside your heart you know that your life can be what you choose to make it. You will have to work hard. You may have times like now when it feels like you are all alone. But here is the other truth: You are never alone. All around you are people who are working and struggling just like you.

So this is what I do when I am feeling blue, when life is lonely and I really am not sure I can keep going: I find someone to help. It is amazing how much our heart blooms when we reach out to help others. In doing that, you find your own strength, you find worth in your lief, and then other choices seem to get easier.

My heart is with you. You can do it. You can shape a beautiful life for yourself and others.

Jan 27, 2018
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Life is beautiful, don't give up yet!
by: Anonymous

Hi!
I hope this story will help you.(I do apologized if there any English grammar mistaken as my mother tongue is not English)

My parents divorced when I was around 6 years old as well. I grew up in the lonely life and craving for love.Mostly a Love from my father... When I was young I don't understand what was happened because no one really communicate or talk about it. I knew only they are not together anymore. My father has a new family right away.From 6 till 18 years old.We lived with our father with his new family for a couple years then move to live wit my mother. My father never support us with any financial or time. We are rarely spend time with him since then. Maybe once a year. I am struggling with study and in the same time we are suffering from financial. I look at my mother as she is a single mother with two kids that she have to support. She was working so hard. She always came home so late and soon she have to leave in the morning. I see a burden and I tired to support my mother by helping her around the house. Be a good girl. I am not good at school but I tried to participate in school activity and tried to make her proud of me. Because I knew this will help her to have an energy to take care of our family. Sadly my mother pass away when I was 17 years old. My mother is mean the world to me. She was working so hard and get sick for a couples of years but she never go to seek help for the right treatment because it means money. She has been kept this as a secret because she does not want us to worry. She always said to me and my brother that she does not have anything to give to us except education and some life advice that she has been taught us.

At 17 years old. I want to suicide myself as my mother is not here in this world anymore so this world is mean nothing to me. I fell in to a deep depression but at the same time I have to be strong for my brother. I have to working and study in the same time to pay the rent and all expenses in the same time suffering with depression.

I do understand your suffering. We are all suffering in the different way. But I have learned a lots from this. You can choose to be in the suffering or to get out from there. My parent divorced which is I can not do anything about it. I learned to "Be in presence". I learned to
" Love myself". What can I do now to change my life, my motivation. Learn to " Forgive" and dealing with all confusing, sad, despair etc. Everytimes that I have a " suicide bubble" in my head. I tried to change my motivation I can not be alone at home I have to go out and do some activities such as running...just run... run till you exhausted and sweaty. I write a lot to release all my emotions also painting.

Please be strong. What you have been through it will make you stronger. Appreciate all little things around you. "Positive energy" is very important. I hope you have any person that you trust and you can talk too. Don't keep it...you have to release them out. Life is a beautiful journey.

With Love to you



Jan 26, 2018
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
keep on loving your family
by: Anonymous

I am sorry about your situation. I want to encourage you to be "strong", talk to a caring significant adult like your teacher, grandparent as well as your parents. Also try and stay focused on your studies. Remember to remain loving kind and caring to your family. Sometimes hurting adults make their own mistakes which unfortunately end up affecting innocent people. I wish you all the best in life.

Jan 26, 2018
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
keep on loving your family
by: Anonymous

I am sorry about your situation. I want to encourage you to be "strong", talk to a caring significant adult like your teacher, grandparent as well as your parents. Also try and stay focused on your studies. Remember to remain loving kind and caring to your family. Sometimes hurting adults make their own mistakes which unfortunately end up affecting innocent people. I wish you all the best in life.

Jan 26, 2018
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
You are helping me.
by: Anonymous

My dear,
I wish I could be with you to talk with you. I am hurting too, but from a different angle. I am going through a divorce myself, my husband never loved me and filed last year. I never wanted this for my kids, now 11 and 13. Divorce feels like the worst thing in the world to me from where I am sitting.

But, by sharing your sorrow, you have helped me to remember to make sure and let my kids feel seen and heard through all this. I know that they are each going through their own separate experiences.

I don't want to give you some cliche saying, like " it could be worse," or "chin up," because your feelings are valid and I believe you.

I also understand about wanting to not be here anymore. I attempted suicide years ago. I felt that bad too. But life doesn't die easily and I'm glad it didn't work.

There are always perspectives that we don't see at the moment. There might be something very special on the other side if this that you wouldn't want to miss, although I know that seems impossible right now. I get you.

Just for me, for today, I want to ask you to do something different in your day: talk to a old woman, pick up some trash somewhere, do a small good deed, but after you take a shower and make your bed. I know you don't feel like it, but do it for me. Just shower, make your bed, and do one small good deed that you wouldn't normally do. Force yourself. And then write again and tell me if it helped at all. I will have more instructions then. We can help each other.
You are special and your parents just aren't aware and have their own stuff to deal with. Step into someone else's world today for a brief moment for your good deed.

And grief is a personal thing. No one can tell you how long something can hurt. It hurts because you have a heart and that's good.
Let me know how it goes please

Jan 26, 2018
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Stay strong
by: Anonymous

Hi,
I’m sorry to hear about your feelings.
Life is harsh in general. You have to get ready to face challenges. You have to be strong. Feeling of being a victim doesn’t help at all. Everyone has his own story. Your parents are divorced, yes it is sad but they are alive and care about you. Your mom is working hard to provide a good life for you. What about those children who have lost their parents due to accident or illness. Or what about those who are dealing with cancer ? Everyone has something. Nobody’s life is perfect.
You are at a very sensitive age and need to reach out for professional help. There are bad people out there advertising for drugs as a way to overcome depression. Watch out not to fall for that.
Read about successful people’s biographies. Most of them had a harsh childhood. Barack Obama is one example who was raised by a single mom but became president of the US! Isn’t it amazing?
Stay strong! You took the first step right by writing about your feelings. Just stay in the right direction.

Jan 26, 2018
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Being a victim keeps you stuck
by: Rosalind Sedacca, CDC

I am so sorry you are facing so many challenges. At 16 they can seem overwhelming. You need help, support and a mentor who can help you understand that this is only a temporary part of your life. It can change and with it you can feel happy and hopeful again. It begins with understanding that being a victim in life keeps you stuck. You have to empower yourself from within -- but that takes support. Reach out until you find that support. Your adult life can be fabulous and rewarding. So can next week and next month if you make different choices. Do not give up!

Jan 26, 2018
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Did you ask your mother for help?
by: Emmily

Hi,

First of all, you are brave to share your story and your emotions here. You take a step to improve your situation.

Although I do not know your situation, it sounds to me that your mother is a serious and responsible person. She is studying and working a lot.

Did you seriously talk to your mother about your feelings?

She might not be completely aware of your current emotions, as her study and work are taking all her attention.

When you explain to her what you are going through, she will understand and help you to improve your situation. Maybe by spending (more) quality time with you or/ and by getting professional help.

If that does not bring anything, find another person of trust. At school or at the church. Or talk to your the doctor. He / she will know a professional to support you.

The sooner you take action, the quicker your situation will improve. It's up to you.

I wish you all the best,

Emmily

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Children's Divorce Stories.