Helping Children Through Divorce Book Review

"But What About Me" is a precious e-resource for helping children through divorce. This e-book has been written for children from 5 up to 12 years old.

“But What About Me”
Rating: 5.0 out of 5.
Reviewed by Reinier Bloem on .
A young person's guide to divorce and separation.
A hands-on instruction guide for helping children through divorce. Valuable tips and insights are provided for their parents in the form of extra articles and interviews. The book includes simple but effective exercises that professional divorce counselors for children of divorce include in their (expensive) sessions.
While working with your child through this book, you will get a clear insight in what is going on inside him or her and it is an excellent way to strengthen your bond.
The material presented is very to the point. So the children and the parents will use their time effectively and efficiently.

Why It Has Been Written

According to the writer Wendy Mollah, the idea for the e-book came from her children. She very much wanted to help her own children when they were going through separation and divorce. She wants to help many other families with this book too.

What You Will Get

1. The e-book "But What About Me?

2. articles and resources (7)

3. Interviews with 6 experts

4. Bonus: Single Parent Budget Bonus

But What About Me

Is the 30 page e-book. It inlcudes worksheets for children to complete on their own or with their parents.

How the Book is Written.

It is well written with the voice of a child. This makes it very well understandable for children between 5 and 12 years. The tone of voice is calm and not childish. She addresses each subject shortly, in a simple child focussed way and to the point.

Inside This Book

A child shares his experiences with the divorce of his parents. He gives explanations and tips. The focus is on the main issues of divorce for children:

  • The divorce is not my fault
  • Change and acceptance
  • Feelings and emotions and how to deal with them
  • Where to live
  • Pets
  • Step parents
  • Focus on the positive
  • Tips and exercises on how to feel good
  • My future
  • What I need from my parents
  • Useful resources & Worksheets

Extra: Articles and Resources

The book comes with these extra articles and resources. They contain effective and to the point tips and tools for divorced parents to helping children through divorce:

  • 30 Relaxation Tips
  • Behavior Management: Techniques and Tips to connect with your child and manage behaviour
  • 140 Ways to Have Fun
  • Family Rules for Teens
  • Negotiation with your Ex- Partner
  • Positive Affirmations for Children: a great help to (re-)build your children's self esteem.
  • Resources To Help: recommended books

These articles contribute to the quality of your family life. Especially the articles on Behavior Management and Positive Affirmation can increase your children's well being.

Extra: 6 Interviews

The 6 interviews contain 32 pages of of knowledge from acknowledged experts in the field. All interviews have the same structure. They begin with an introduction of the expert. Then, the following questions are discussed:

  • What are the top things parents do right to help their children through divorce?
  • What are the top things parents do wrong?
  • How do parents best answer the question for children of why this is happening?
  • Are there gender differences in how boys and girls cope with divorce and how do parents manage these differences best?
  • How do the proud and worry box from your book work?
  • How can parents best avoid the long term damage that many children suffer as a result of divorce?
  • What are the positives for children?
  • How do you best make your children feel loved?
  • How do you make the transition to 2 houses easiest?
  • How do you best help your children feel loved during the process of divorce and separation?

The interviews provide valuable insights and tips for divorced parents on helping children through divorce from these experts. However, not all interviewed answered all questions.

The interviews are conducted with:

  • Dr. Stahl - author of "Conducting Child Custody Evaluations" and "Parenting after Divorce"
  • Roberta Beyer - divorce attorney and divorce mediator, author of the books “Speaking of Divorce”, “What in the World do you do When Your Parents Divorce?”, “The Divorce Calendar for Kids” and “The Mom and Dad Pad”.
  • Karen and Nick Woodalls - family therapist (Karen) specialised in families in high conflict and (Nick) consiliator and trainer. The wrote the book authors of “The Guide for Separated Parents: Putting Children First”.
  • Dr. Anne-marie Collins - is a psychologist working in clinical counseling and family dispute resolution.
  • Anne Cantelo - author of “It’s No Big Deal Really: A parent’s guide to making divorce easy for children”.
  • Sarah Acton - solicitor

Budget Basics (Bonus):

This document is a very short introduction to the basic of budgetting. It superficially addresses some elementary money management issues. There is only a distant relationship with helping children through divorce.

The Price

The price is a bargain.

Your child will work through the same materials and use similar exercises as professional counselors do. By using this book you can save a lot of money.

By Reinier Bloem