Hannah

by Hannah
(Philippines)

My mom and dad broke up when I was 6 years old and I'm now 18 yrs old. I have 3 siblings.

My mom decided to end their marriage when dad started to hurt her non-stop and sexually abusing her because of addiction to alcohol which also caused our business to die.

Growing up in a broken home was hard because we get bullied for it. People pitied us for it. I stood up for me and my siblings to the point in where I became the bully. I took it as protecting me and my sibling from further bullying.

I get jealous to my cousins for them having a whole family and started hating family reunion. I hate socializing to people. I don't talk to much.

I force myself to smile everyday just to let the world know I'm okay when deep down I'm not. The hardest part for me is when my mom decided to remarry in where we disagreed and led to my mom secretly contacting the guy despite the failure of their engagement.

Yes we know about it cause were not stupid not to notice my mom's actions. We left it as it is. But I hate my mom for it to the point where we don't have a decent conversation because we always end up fighting.

I don't talk to her despite her trying to reach out to me. whenever she does that I automatically shove it away and build my inner wall stronger and higher than it already is. Whenever I'm home I keep myself busy in order not to have time to talk to her. I don't come out to my room and all.

My mom and I don't get along at all. I tend to block her from my life unlike any teenager who destroys their studies, I on the other hand try my very best to finish my studies with high grades to become a doctor and leave this place.

I am an anti-social person in where I easily get irritated when I'm with many people (mall,school, public places). I don't like conversing with people, I rather sleep or listen to music than talk to people. I always feel sad and lonely and tried to kill myself a few times.

I also don't feel like getting married because I don't want my future children to experience what I had experienced.

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Oct 18, 2015
 Divorce is hard
by: Anonymous

You should never try to harm yourself in anyway. It's not your fault you can't have babies in the future. You would probably make an amazing wife and mother.
Sep 24, 2015
 Advice
by: Anonymous

Keep you head up! I have divorced parents too but I still try to keep positive. You always gotta remember that there are people with worse situations, but I understand where you're coming from. Everything will get better with prayers and hope. Promise. :) <3
May 09, 2015
 Let go
by: Emmily

Dear Hannah,

I feel really bad for you that your parents divorced and that you have a bad relationship with your mother.

I have no idea how your Philipine society thinks about divorce. Your story tells me that it is not accepted as it is in the U.S. and in most European countries today. When people judge you for the discontinued marriage of your parents, it is not fair.

A little advice from my side is to let go your frustration about your mother. You might spoil your energy on this frustration, instead of on positive things, like becoming a doctor. That's a brave and courageous venture that will give you a lot of satisfaction and independance and a respectable position in your professional life.

Please accept your mother as she is. You cannot change anybody but yourself. Of course you do not have to agree with her, but accept and respect her choices. After all, she is you mother.

Focus on the positive things in your life, have a positive attitude and have fun and you will attract nice people and one day you might even run into the husband of your dreams.

I wish you all the best,

Emmily

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