Hannah
by Hannah
(Philippines)
My mom and dad broke up when I was 6 years old and I'm now 18 yrs old. I have 3 siblings.
My mom decided to end their marriage when dad started to hurt her non-stop and sexually abusing her because of addiction to alcohol which also caused our business to die.
Growing up in a broken home was hard because we get bullied for it. People pitied us for it. I stood up for me and my siblings to the point in where I became the bully. I took it as protecting me and my sibling from further bullying.
I get jealous to my cousins for them having a whole family and started hating family reunion. I hate socializing to people. I don't talk to much.
I force myself to smile everyday just to let the world know I'm okay when deep down I'm not. The hardest part for me is when my mom decided to remarry in where we disagreed and led to my mom secretly contacting the guy despite the failure of their engagement.
Yes we know about it cause were not stupid not to notice my mom's actions. We left it as it is. But I hate my mom for it to the point where we don't have a decent conversation because we always end up fighting.
I don't talk to her despite her trying to reach out to me. whenever she does that I automatically shove it away and build my inner wall stronger and higher than it already is. Whenever I'm home I keep myself busy in order not to have time to talk to her. I don't come out to my room and all.
My mom and I don't get along at all. I tend to block her from my life unlike any teenager who destroys their studies, I on the other hand try my very best to finish my studies with high grades to become a doctor and leave this place.
I am an anti-social person in where I easily get irritated when I'm with many people (mall,school, public places). I don't like conversing with people, I rather sleep or listen to music than talk to people. I always feel sad and lonely and tried to kill myself a few times.
I also don't feel like getting married because I don't want my future children to experience what I had experienced.