If you divorce without children, the situation is much easier to resolve. The child custody after divorce is considered to be the most difficult issue for a separating couple.
Children of divorce go through a difficult period. There are many effects of divorce of children.
Priorities among couples have changed during the last 20 years. Apparently, parents regard personal happiness and a happy marriage as being more important to them. Before, raising children was seen a more fulfilling.
A study conducted by the Pew Research Center in 2007 concluded that having children is only number 8 on the priority list of couples.
The top of the list is as follows:
Adults in their early ages are much more focussed on advancing in their carreers. They tend to postpone starting a family. They feel that will stand in the way of making professional advancement.
Young people today are more self-oriented. Having children means for them that they have to sacrifice their freedom. Parental responsibilities will take over.
Many think that they cannot dedicate enough time and care to children.
Adult children of divorce are more thoughtful about having children. They no not only see the advantages. They know there are disadvantages too. From their own experience, they know that a divorce without children will be much easier. And not only for them. They do not want their children to go through the same negative process. Their memories of the divorce of their parents make them insecure. Some are even determined not to have children.
Many chlildren of divorce want to avoid failure. The failure of their parents. The trouble with this approach is that thinking about the chance of failure, will probably end up in failure. They reason: if we do not have children, we will divorce without children.
However, there are many succesful men and women that have children, are very capable parents and they have a very succesful carreer. In is more in the head of the young adults or because that they feel pressure from their social environment that they cannot have it both.
More information about the study by the Pew Research Center can be found in As Marriage and Parenthood Drift Apart, Public Is Concerned about Social Impact.
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