According to Divorce Protecting Children, your children of divorce should feel safe and secure. Only then they can develop socially and emotionally in a healty way. In this article, we discuss the ideal environment, schools, bullying, the neighbourhood, domestic violence, watching tv and alcohol.
One of the worst nightmare of any parent is that their young children end up in violent street gangs that traffic drugs and alcohol. Once you kid is in such a group, it is very difficult to get them out. The pressure and threats of the group makes it very difficult for them to just walk away. There will always remain a bill to be paid.
Fortunately, this scenario does not happen to most of us.
The ideal safe environment is were the children can play and run around without having to be afraid of all kind of dangers. In some countries, even young children can walk or bike to school alone, without running the risk of being overridden by a car or a truck. In other countries, this is more complicated. Many times it is only because of the physical distance between the home and school.
Among Schools there are big differences too. Some schools are very peaceful and secure. Others are much more difficult. Aggression and violence are no exceptions.
A more sophisticated threat is bullying. This is a subject that is hard to grasp by school teachers and parents because it is taking place outside their vision. The children being bullied are afraid or simply embarrassed to tell somebody about what is happening. Children can suffer from bullying very much. Sadly, this has led to several suicides among teen agers in different countries.
The neighbourhood in which children live impact their feeling of security. If you live in a neighbourhood with many burglaries and break ins and an aggressive and unpersonal atmosphere, it will impact your children. If they can play on the play ground or in the park without any problem (and thus without constant being warned by their parents), they will be much more at ease.
Violence can also come from within the family. Maybe you are divorced because you or your children have been violated. If that is the case, you should stay away from your ex partner and you should keep your children away from your ex partner as well. Violence can be physical and mental. Like with bullying, mental abuse is harder to detect. In a relationship is can sleek in. People get used to it and because of lack of alternatives, they accept it. That is a pity. They should not.
Both children and adults that are mentally abused, need professional help. It is very difficult to break the circle. Most of the time it is because they do not want to admit being mentally abused. People are ashamed of it.
Governments these days are drawing up these days more and more safety guidelines. The physical safety in the house, garden, playing ground, park, streets, roads, traffic and public buildings are improved each year and there are many inspection bodies to see if the responsible people comply with it.
Around the swimming pool, a fence must be place to avoid that children fall into it. On the play ground, all kind of measures have been taken to avoid that playing children hurt themselves. But are all these measures for the best interest of the children?
In the learning environment, children are able to discover and experiment. If they climb a tree and they fall out of it and they hurt themselves, that is the natural consequence. They learn from it. Parents should not be overprotective.
On the other hand, parents leave their children many hours unattended watching television. This is where the violence and many poor role modeling comes into their lives. Why do we spend so much money and energy in our society to protect our children from the physical dangers while we leave the front (through the television) door wide open for mental violence?
Although it is forbidden for children under 18 or under 16 (dependent of the country) to drink alcohol, alcohol still has its dangers. In our society drinking alcohol is still the norm. If you do not drink, you are expected to explain why. It should be the other way around. It should be a good thing if you educate your children like that. Then they will be better prepared for the day they are allowed to drink alcohol.
Walk the talk.
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