Children after divorce

The trial is over, the documents are signed. What do your children after divorce do? What do you need to do after the divorce? You and your spouse have gone your separate ways. You have children. You invested enormous amounts of time, money, and energy in obtaining your divorce and arranging the custody of the children. Where do you go from here with the children after divorce?

Take some time to heal: Divorce is an emotional process. Particularly when it takes a long time.

Once the final divorce decree is entered, you're entitled to a little time to yourself and the children after divorce. It may take some time to get to know yourself as an individual after so many years being a couple. Spending time with loved ones, the children, seeing a different part of the world, learning a new skill can all help you began to discover who you are separate and apart from a former spouse.

Re-Read Your Divorce Decree : In the first few months after your divorce, you may want to periodically review the terms of your divorce to ensure that you don't have any deadlines hanging over your head and to make sure that your former spouse is following through on his or her end of the deal.

If you are required to transfer titles, property, or information to your former spouse, do so in a timely manner. If you note that your spouse has failed to follow through on their obligations after a friendly reminder, contract your attorney.

By ensuring that you follow through on your financial and other obligations, you can help maintain as amicable relationship as possible with your former spouse.

Children after Divorce: some things you might do immediately following the entry of your divorce decree if you have children:

  • Begin rebuilding your relationship with the other parent: People get divorced because they no long wish to be married to each other, live together, or spend time together. When children are involved, you're stuck with each other for the rest of your children's lives. As the children grow, child support obligations and visitation schedules are replaced with graduations, weddings, and baby showers. Assuming you both love and value your children, you'll be seeing a lot more of each other than you probably think. Whenever possible begin to change your relationship with your former spouse from one of acrimony to one of harmony. Promise yourself you won't speak unkindly of your former spouse in front of your children. Remind your children of mother's day, father's day, or your ex's birthday. Make sure that your ex is included and invited to birthday parties, music recitals, and sporting events. If it's difficult to communicate with your former spouse verbally, keep him or her in the loop with a bi-weekly newsletter or email all about the kids and their activities
  • Financial and other obligations involving the children
  • Make sure your name or your former spouse's name is removed from the mortgage and the title to the marital residence
  • Make sure your child support order is registered with a state enforcement agency
  • If child support is to be withheld from the payor parent's pay check, make sure his or her employer has a copy of the child support order
  • Provide schools, daycares, and babysitters with a copy of the custody decree
  • Ensure that the primary custodial parent is noted by schools, doctor's offices, and on emergency contact information
  • Modify any wills, trusts, powers of attorney, and living wills as necessitated by the divorce
  • Change beneficiaries on retirement accounts and life insurance policies as necessitated by the divorce
  • Changing The Children's Names: Changing the names of children after divorce is difficult and must be done with the consent of both biological parents. A judge will not allow you to change the names of your children simply because you've resumed the use of your former name and want the children to share your last name, if the other parent objects. In order to change the children's name against the wishes of the other parent, the court will require proof that NOT changing the children's names is harmful to the children. Some examples where court's have allowed name changes for the children are when the other parent's parental rights have been terminated or when the other parent has been convicted of severe abuse or neglect of the children
  • If you have been granted permission to change your name or the children's names:
    • Have your name changed on your driver's license , passport, and social security card;
    • Ensure that your bank, insurance providers, doctor's offices, and investment companies have a copy of the court order allowing you to change your name;
    • Change your children's names on their birth certificates, school information, and health care information, if allowed by the court.
Are you a Child Friendly Divorced Parent? Do the
Self Assessment

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