I am now 13 and 11 years have passed since my parents divorced.
At firsts I didn't know what was going on, but as I grew up, I noticed nothing was wrong. I never really had a father figure in my life and I hated it when people talked about their dad. I don't feel joy and happiness.
I normally feel nothing, but sometimes sadness and anger. I am an introvert, like my dad who lives in another state and I love with my extroverted mom and sister.
I barely ever see my dad. Only about 2 or 3 times a year. My mom and sister don't understand me and it frustrates me. They don't understand I feel broken, lost, and alone. I spend a lot of my time alone in my room and on the Internet.
When I was around 7, my mom was married to my step dad. He yelled at us and blamed us for everything so they also divorced.
I am sick and tired of putting on a mask, hiding my pain behind a fake smile. I feel like no one can ever understand me. How can they if I don't understand myself?
I have been diagnosed with depression. I have never self harmed or anything like that, but sometimes I think about it. I just wish I had someone that would understand me and be by my side.
I have been going to counseling for a while and it doesn't help. I cry almost everyday in the darkness of my room, too shy to talk to anyone. I need someone to help me through this hell of a life I don't want to be living.