Why do so many couples get divorced

by Maria Scott
(California, South Pasadena, USA)

Why so many couple are getting divorced? This is difficult to answer. There are many reasons, known and unknown.

Divorce rates peaked between 1977 and 1983. It seemded that almost every married couple was considering a divorce.

According to a survey, many recent couples feel different about the marriage than earlier generations did. The meaning of marriage and the promises and the obligations have changed. In the past the "I do" meant that the marriage was forever.

The last 35 years things have changed. Today, many couples do not keep their promises. Apparently the concept of marriage has changed. Nowadays, the mind set of people that get married is that if they do not like their married life, they step out of it. Simply as that.

The changed divorce laws allow married people to walk away from it much more easily. Before, the divorce process was cumbersome, time consuming and expensive. Today, filing for divorce means doing the paper work, file it and after a month or so the marriage has been ended by the court.

A person wanting a divorce simply download the divorce documents from the internet, fills them in and files them at the court. In the past divorce laws were far more demanding and getting divorced was much harder to do.

New divorce types and more relaxed divorce laws make make divorce a piece of cake. "No fault" divorce means that you do not have to motivate why you want to divorce. You don't have to prove anything about your partners misbehaviour or adultery.
Divorce has become accepted in todays society. Families do not feel the social disapproval of a divorce. They new society and system will support them when they need.

People in love get carried away. This results in marriage. When 2 persons fall in love, the world looks perfect. At that time, they don't care about not knowing the other person good enough to start a long lasting relationship. They get get married without a lot of thought. Soon after they may realise that the person they married with has his weaknesses and odd behaviour and that that person is different from what was expected.

The disappointment can be the beginning of the end of the "good" relationship and of the marriage.

During the last decennia, the values regarding relationships and marriage have changed. A marriage does not have to be forever any more, like in the old days.

Now, many marriages end because of adultery.

Another reason for marrying is money. People get married to be able to lead a rich life.

If the marriage is good, it will continue. But if it does not work, just divorce and take half of the money of your rich partner.

There are many cases of married couples that divorce just after one or two months. This week it came in the news that Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian divorced after just 72 days.

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Sep 08, 2014
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Comment on Michael Divine's post
by: Emily

Dear Michael,

Thank you for your comments. I apologize for taking so long to respond to your questions.

No, it is fine to have a lot of money. Money gives you the means to go after your dreams. It is only bad if you use your money for consumption purposes. That does not help you moving forward in your life. If you buy stuff to help you become better in your sport or at school or with your favorite hobby, than it is a good thing to do. Also if you invest it in education it will always give you high returns.

You can also invest it in something that will make more money in the future. Think about that. It will not always turn out as you expect, but you will learn a lot from it.

Regarding your mum and dad: you do not have to choose between them. You can love both of them as you do, of course. Divide your time between them and ask them to dedicate quality time to you too. Don't forget to tell them that you have 2 parents and that you're not going to choose.

Make the best out of it and enjoy your new life.

May 28, 2014
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WHY?
by: Harry

Hi my parents are divorcing I'm only 13 and I have 5 year old brother Sean and a 3 year old sister Oonagh.

My dad is lawyer in Galway, Ireland and my mam is a primary school teacher In Roscommon, Ireland, my dad always fights with my mam album is never violent, vice versa. This makes my younger brother Sean cry as he has minor special needs. I don't mind them divorcing however I kind of feel bad as I have been getting really nice things including iPhone 5 and iMac computer and a iPad.

We are completely loaded and we centre afford this kind of stuff. Is this wrong? and how can I stall the divorce? . I love my parents and don't want to take sides. What do i do?

Sep 11, 2012
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What about the Children?
by: Anonymous

Hi Maria,
Thank you for your nice contribution.

According to your story, many married couples divorce these days not in the last place because it is so easy to do.

My first question is then "why should you marry anyway if the marriage institute does not have any value?"

What are the consequences for society of divorce?

Divorcing gets more complicated once a couple has children. Parents have a big responsibility towards their children. A divorce with children is more difficult to do. Both legally and emotionally. And it has many more practical consequences too.

Best Regards, Emily

Before breaking up and filing for divorce, everyone should seriously attempting to save the marriage. Even when your partner slept with someone else, your marriage can be saved. At the beginning you feel very angry and you want to act on this emotion immediately. Filing for divorce is a solution, but it is not always the best.

In some countries, there is a legal period (for example 6 month) between the filing and the divorce decree by the court. During this period people cool down from their emotions and they can have a second thought.


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