Fate?

by Aiden
(Malaysia)

I am 16 years old. My parents divorced like 4 month ago.

Sometimes I don't even understand why they separated? Is it because of misunderstanding? Lack of love ? Lack of attention?

Whenever I ask them why both of them separated, they always answer that it is their fate that they have become like this. After my parents divorced , my relationship with my father became far apart. We are like strangers.

I don't even know what I did to him until he ignore me 24/7. Day after day I keep thinking that he hates me. So eventually, I started to feel that I hate him too. But , sometimes , I don't even know why I cry when I look at him from afar.

I feel like nobody is on my side. Nobody hears me crying at night. Nobody want to hear my thoughts.
So, because of that, almost everynight, I locked my door, leaned on the wall and let out my depression, tears, anger all alone.

Well, sometimes I have some thought to committ suicide, self harming but luckily, it never happened. I just have no courage to do that.

You could say that im old enough, mature enough to understand about this divorced thing. But i also have feelings and a hart and I also need parents like others.

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Feb 06, 2017
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I applaud your courage!
by: Anonymous

Dear A,

I am so sorry to hear of your parents divorce. I am even more sorry that you feel so alone and feel that you have nobody to talk to. It is very sad for you that your parents will not be more open with you and explain what's going on…

You must feel so confused and alone and afraid. But promise that you will keep talking and you will keep trying to figure this out.

Is there a teacher or a spiritual advisor you could go speak to ? You are confused, and this is so normal…. I am also sorry that your father is not very close to you right now.

Keep the faith and the believe that everything will work out with him once he figures out his own problems. You have nothing, absolutely nothing to do with the way he feels. Do not blame yourself. Sometimes kids think their parents are so smart and know everything, But that is just not the case… Lots of times kids know better than their parents what is going on. You sound very smart and very perceptive.

It is never OK that children are hurt in a divorce but it seems that they always are. As for any thoughts of harming yourself, you say you do not have the courage…

I think you are 100% wrong, because your words show you have TONS of courage. So never, ever forget that you have lots and lots of courage… But not to harm yourself, but to save yourself and preserve your beautiful life.

I hope you pray every night when you feel alone. God Is with you and protecting you and helping you get through this.

One thing I know is that this will pass . Maybe not tomorrow, but it will come to an end, and your pain will subside. Your father's actions toward you are not really him… He seems more confused than you.

Please always love and respect yourself and please never forget that divorce is something that a father and mother go through. The children really don't have anything to do with it.

This is good in a way because you cannot be blamed. Nevertheless it's hard in that you have no control over what your parents do.

You only have control over what you decide to do… And how you decide to respond to things you cannot control. I pray that you will always decide to find peace and that you always believe you are blessed… and you never forget that you are being heard. I heard you and I will never forget you or your courage. Remember that your words are beautiful and you can help other children.

Never stop talking or trying. Lots of love and hugs and prayers

Nov 30, 2015
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by: Emmily

Dear,

I am very sorry for you.

What about your mother? Do you have a good relationship with her?

I can imagine your parents are very much occupied with all the details they have to go through for the divorce. Because of that they pay very little attention to you.

That is sad, very sad. They should put you on top of their priority list and nothing else.

The reason of their divorce does not really matter. It happened and it won't be undone in most cases.

See what the future can bring you for good things. Set yourself some short and long term personal goals and go after them.

Find people you trust to build a close relationship with and that support you. A brother or sister, a grand parent, a cousin, an oncle or aunt, a neighbour, a friend or someone at school.

Keep up your good spirit.

I wish you all the best, Emmily

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