Divorce Support

Divorce support is provided in many forms. First of all, there is the army of divorce lawyers. Then there are the alternatives like the mediators and the collaborative divorce. Furthermore there are divorce professionals that specialise in the financial aspects of a divorce. And of course, there are the divorce coaches and counselors. This category support divorcing and divorced people with the human aspects, being emotions and relationships.

Legal Divorce Support

Going to court is still the most used form to end a marriage. However, other forms exist that prove to be produce better results: lower costs, a shorter divorce process and a much more satisfactory outcome for both parties. Those forms are Mediation and the Collaborative Divorce. Another huge advantage of these methods is that you stay in control. Litigation will hand over the decision power to the judge and there will always be one winner and one loser.

However, with or without mediator or collaborative divorce lawyer, you still have to file for divorce. The following issues need to be addressed though:

  • Is your divorce contested or uncontested?
  • Which state has jurisdiction?
  • What is the ground for divorce?
  • How will your common assets and liabilities be divided?
  • Spousal Support (Alimony)
  • Child custody and the parenting plan
  • Child support (for not "emancipated" children)

This information is needed to formally end the divorce. In the U.S.A. and in most other countries, the judge will finally decide. But if both spouses worked together and agreed on the above mentioned subjects and what they agreed upon is within the boundaries of the law, the judge will respect and accept the conditions.

In some countries you have to wait 1 year or another period of time before the marriage can be ended officially. The law makers introduced this as a period to let cool down the emotions and to rethink the decision to divorce.

On-line Support

On the internet there are many divorce kits that can support you with the legal aspects of divorce. From the testimonials and from the high numbers of people that have used these services succesfully, they have proved to be useful.

The best of those services have a customer service desk with expert staff to answer all your questions.

Furthermore, governments and states publish divorce forms on their web sites for those who do not have the resources or do not want to involve a divorce lawyer.

Off-line Support

Divorce Lawyers can help you with every legal aspect of your divorce. It comes at a price, but they can take over all this complicated, time consuming and frustrating stuff out of your hands.

Financial Divorce Support

Build your financial plan

Your current financial situation and your financial plan for the future will be the basis for your negotiations. State laws and country laws determine for a large part how much each of you will get after the divorce. The child support, the alimony, the division of property and assets and of your liabilities are all to be determined.

When assessing your assets, these should be considered:

  • bank accounts
  • investments (shares, bonds, real estate, other)
  • retirement plans
  • property
  • jewellery
  • furniture
  • art and antiques
  • holiday home
  • boats
  • cars, camper
  • (motor) cycles
  • other expensive sports equipment, horses
  • loans
  • mortage
  • credit card debt
  • student loans

Related to income, look at these aspects:

  • salaries
  • bonusses (earned, unearned)
  • pension benefits
  • investment income

If you forget parts of your own, your spouses and your common income, property, assets and liabilities, they will not be used in the calculations. This might be at your and of your childrens advantages or disadvantages.

Consider to involve a certified financial divorce analyst to help you prepare and calculate your options. The financial divorce analyst can calculate your situation years into the future, taking many "what ifs" into account.

Building a realistic financial plan for your future. Do not overestimate your income and do not underestimate your expenses, as this will fire back to you sooner or later. With a realistic financial plan, you will not have to struggle all the time with a lack of money.

Pitfalls:

  1. Under-estimating your cost of living
  2. Hanging on to your beloved (vacation) house that you cannot afford
  3. Under-estimating the required child support
  4. Not taking into account the tax consequences of the different scenarios
  5. Poor evaluation of retirement plans

Insurance

Consider insuring your divorce settlement. If you become dependent of the alimony and the child support provided by your ex spouse, and accident or an illness could have serious consequences for you and for your children too. He or she might die or and up handicapped and you will loose all the benefits you counted on.

Emotional Divorce Support

Coaches and Counselors

Divorce Coaches and Counselors help you with your emotional divorce support. They come in many flavours. Some of them started as divorce lawyers and gained coaching attitudes, tools and methods down the road.

Others started as coaches and specialized in divorce cases. Along the way they gathered a lot of knowledge and experience with the legal and the financial matters.

Nowadays, there are many coaches and counselors that provide their services through the internet. This way they are much more accessible. Many of them provide their knowledge in e-books or online programs for free or for a very fair price.

The coaches focus on building your new life after your divorce:

  1. avoid fighting with your ex
  2. do not spoil your energy in negative things
  3. surround yourself with friends and family that support you
  4. how to keep your emotions under control
  5. how to make the well being of your children your absolute priority

Divorce Support Groups

Participating in a Divorce Support Group is another way for divorcing and divorced people to help them to get through a divorce and through the difficult period after it. In a divorce support group, the members share their emotions and their practical issues.

The participants learn from each other: what are the issues to be concerned about, what can you do, what works, what does not. Participants give each other tons of tips and advice. They will also give you names of professionals in the field that have proved to be helpful. Read more

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