Divorce and Children with Disabilities
Divorce and children with disabilities happens too often. Parents of a disabled child have a higher divorce rate. This is sad.
As you can imagine, disabled children suffer more from a divorce than
healthy children. It is very sad that a couple breaks up due to having a
handicapped child. Married couples can take action to avoid breaking-up because of a disabled child.
Many of us have friends, family or peolple within
their social environment that have divorced due to the strain a disabled
child puts on their family life. The husband or the wife leaves because
they feel they are not able to continue to support the disabled child
the way they do.
Statistics
Families with one or more disabled children have higher than average
divorce rates. For children with autism, some researchers report divorce
rates of 85%.
Divorce and Children with Disabilities: a Real Life Story
Here is a real life story of a divorced couple with one healthy boy and
with a heavily mentally and physically disabled boy. The husband was
working full time and the wife part time.
She was taking care of the
disabled child most of the time. After the age of 6, the disabled boy
was placed in a home for mentally handicapped children. She visited her
son a few times a week, her husband, being busy with his work, visited
his son only once a week in the weekend. Sometimes he skipped a week.
Because she spent much more time with the disabled child, she took the
most important decisions. From her point of view, her husband walked
away from his responsibility.
From the perspective of the husband, the
mother kept him outside. He thought she wanted to make the decisions
alone. When the disabled boy reached the age of 11, he left. His reason
for the divorce was that he could not cope with his disabled child. They
filed for divorce and after the divorce he did not visit his disabled
child again.
Tips for divorce and children with disabilites
There are a few things to bare in mind:
-
a daily routine is even more important for the disabled children
-
a fixed visitation schedule should be agreed and respected by both
parents
-
apart from deciding on legal and physical custody, a guardian must be
appointed (see explanation below).
-
adult disabled children of divorce often need additional financial help.
For suggestions about organizing the financial situation for your disabled child:
http://www.children-and-divorce.com/disabled-children-and-divorce.html
Guardians
In cases of divorce and children with disabilities, it might be
necessary to appoint a guardian before the children reach the age of
eighteen. Both normal and disabled children become responsible for their
own decisions and actions once they are 18. The law does not make any
distinction. The appointed guardian will take the (most) important
medical and / or financial decisions for the disabled child.
Strain on the marriage
Divorce and children with disabilities argues for making it a priority of parents
of handicapped children to keep their marriage in tact, whatever it
takes. Parents of disabled children often dedicate all their time to the
well being of their children, especially to the handicapped. They feel
guilty when they spend time on each other and on their marriage.
Protect your marriage.
To protect their marriage, parents of disabled children should dedicate
time to each other, at least 20 minutes a day. If the relationship
deteriorates, they can take action to improve it. For instance:
communicate the mutual concerns openly and find solutions together or go
into a marriage counseling program.
Divorce and Children with Disabilities is sad. Parents should avoid divorcing because of their disabled children. The children deserve better. Parents can take action to avoid a divorce. Disabled children cannot.
Will your life and the life of your disabled child be better after your divorce?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sign up for our FREE offer now:
How to Successfully Support your Children after your Divorce.
A 12 weeks program for divorced parents.
Normal value: $ 87
By signing up, you will receive each week insights, ideas, tools, tips and exercises how to create a positive mindset and a stimulating environment in which you and your children will thrive after your divorce. The program is offered to you in 12 digestable parts.
Return to .
Return from Divorce and Children with Disabilities to the Home page of Children and divorce
|